Do I having regret with the kids???
That was the question i asked myself the other night. The day that I totally lost it on my kids (sometimes when they stubborn)!! Wednesday... In short, the answer is NO!!NO!!NO!! Absolutely not. It has NEVER crossed my mind! Things have been so rough here lately. With one boys in school, and my daughter once in d blue moon send her to nursery, afternoons, specifically homework time (7.00-8.30 pm), have been unbearable. No one ever wants to do their homework. Adam's homework (in third grade) takes him over three hours a night to do. He has to do it in his room because the rest of the house is so hectic and chaotic sometimes but not everyday la, and I honestly don't know what he is doing in there. Sometimes both of them a bit lazy want to solat n mengaji..until I have to yelled their names..hehe. I have to sporadically check in on him, when I remember to. At the end of the night, his answers are sometimes wrong, and they need to be erased and redone. Well he needs someone to basically DO his homework at the age of nine,(SOMETIMES)!!! as he is not great at Math and English, and also my part sometimes in “Seni Lukis”.He dunno n lazy want to tink far..n yet I have to finish his drawing..He expert in cartoon pic..like a angrybirds.. And then there's my homework..It takes a long hour to watch them..When I teach them sometimes they like to listen to me but sometimes they don’t!!..(stubborn sometimes)..
Marissa needs me to sit next to her and spell words out as she writes sentences (which she does not enjoy), she’s sometimes a bit lazy compare to Adam and she needs to read to me.
Then I got an idea with my kids behavior. I made up a chart for my kids that consisted of BEHAVIOR, CHORES, HOMEWORK, and EXTRA CREDIT. We have a system! We had a family meeting tonight following dinner, and after, I wrote up a contract. They will sign this tomorrow. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I will no longer reward my children, unless it is earned. Everything will be earned and/or taken away. I will not be treated with disrespect and tortured. Homework fights are over. One of the things I have to do for therapy homework is to write a list of what i consider to be a good parent. Should be a piece of cake rite??hmmm??
I have a few underlying issues in parenting role. One is way too lenient and does not correct our children like it should, can spoiled the kids.. I am the disciplinarian. We must have an enough time with our kids. THAT drives me nuts! My entire life is centered around my children. Bedtime stories are read 2 out of 7 nights a week, always have been. Dinner is eaten at the table together EVERY night; (*first marriage*) all 4 of us. At home every afternoon when they get home from school, and we still find time to interact and play with them. Yet, he feels we do not spend enough "time" with them. That is something he needs to work out within himself, and I hope he can knock that out during one of future therapy visits. I think we spend TOO much time with them. LOL!! WE need more alone time! We are doing the best we can with the kids, but every now and then, we all need a little help. I guess that is sometimes hard to accept, like admitting you are not doing that great of a job, when performing the most important job you will ever have in your life. I'm glad I have nija by my side. She understands me a lot!! There is such a long road ahead...
PS-I don't write this for you to judge me. I write this to remember the hard times, so the good times will feel that much better. I am not the only parent that has lost it on their children, and I hope this helps someone else maybe going through the same thing. Whatever it is i love my kids so so so 1000 much..no matter wats..
(feel that this is a gift and message invaluable from god)
when I think back that I have been through all the childhood, so they still in learning process, we have to give them explore it..But we have to monitor them,from a distance so they not complacent with the situation today
so moral of d story is Love what u've got!!! n appreciate them a lot n give them a lot of joy of love..*reminder for myself too!!*
HUGS AND KISSES FOR ADAM N SHORAYA...IBU HEART U ALL SO MUCH!!
from BFF with Love
~Oya Rahman~
That was the question i asked myself the other night. The day that I totally lost it on my kids (sometimes when they stubborn)!! Wednesday... In short, the answer is NO!!NO!!NO!! Absolutely not. It has NEVER crossed my mind! Things have been so rough here lately. With one boys in school, and my daughter once in d blue moon send her to nursery, afternoons, specifically homework time (7.00-8.30 pm), have been unbearable. No one ever wants to do their homework. Adam's homework (in third grade) takes him over three hours a night to do. He has to do it in his room because the rest of the house is so hectic and chaotic sometimes but not everyday la, and I honestly don't know what he is doing in there. Sometimes both of them a bit lazy want to solat n mengaji..until I have to yelled their names..hehe. I have to sporadically check in on him, when I remember to. At the end of the night, his answers are sometimes wrong, and they need to be erased and redone. Well he needs someone to basically DO his homework at the age of nine,(SOMETIMES)!!! as he is not great at Math and English, and also my part sometimes in “Seni Lukis”.He dunno n lazy want to tink far..n yet I have to finish his drawing..He expert in cartoon pic..like a angrybirds.. And then there's my homework..It takes a long hour to watch them..When I teach them sometimes they like to listen to me but sometimes they don’t!!..(stubborn sometimes)..
Marissa needs me to sit next to her and spell words out as she writes sentences (which she does not enjoy), she’s sometimes a bit lazy compare to Adam and she needs to read to me.
Then I got an idea with my kids behavior. I made up a chart for my kids that consisted of BEHAVIOR, CHORES, HOMEWORK, and EXTRA CREDIT. We have a system! We had a family meeting tonight following dinner, and after, I wrote up a contract. They will sign this tomorrow. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I will no longer reward my children, unless it is earned. Everything will be earned and/or taken away. I will not be treated with disrespect and tortured. Homework fights are over. One of the things I have to do for therapy homework is to write a list of what i consider to be a good parent. Should be a piece of cake rite??hmmm??
I have a few underlying issues in parenting role. One is way too lenient and does not correct our children like it should, can spoiled the kids.. I am the disciplinarian. We must have an enough time with our kids. THAT drives me nuts! My entire life is centered around my children. Bedtime stories are read 2 out of 7 nights a week, always have been. Dinner is eaten at the table together EVERY night; (*first marriage*) all 4 of us. At home every afternoon when they get home from school, and we still find time to interact and play with them. Yet, he feels we do not spend enough "time" with them. That is something he needs to work out within himself, and I hope he can knock that out during one of future therapy visits. I think we spend TOO much time with them. LOL!! WE need more alone time! We are doing the best we can with the kids, but every now and then, we all need a little help. I guess that is sometimes hard to accept, like admitting you are not doing that great of a job, when performing the most important job you will ever have in your life. I'm glad I have nija by my side. She understands me a lot!! There is such a long road ahead...
PS-I don't write this for you to judge me. I write this to remember the hard times, so the good times will feel that much better. I am not the only parent that has lost it on their children, and I hope this helps someone else maybe going through the same thing. Whatever it is i love my kids so so so 1000 much..no matter wats..
(feel that this is a gift and message invaluable from god)
when I think back that I have been through all the childhood, so they still in learning process, we have to give them explore it..But we have to monitor them,from a distance so they not complacent with the situation today
so moral of d story is Love what u've got!!! n appreciate them a lot n give them a lot of joy of love..*reminder for myself too!!*
HUGS AND KISSES FOR ADAM N SHORAYA...IBU HEART U ALL SO MUCH!!
from BFF with Love
~Oya Rahman~
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